'SUP Mag - Comanechi Interview

Issue 22 of 'SUP Mag is finally out and doesn't it look grand. It's sleek, savvy yet simple layout will have you turning the pages with more zest than an orange. Interviews include: HOT CHIP, GOLD PANDA, SLOW CLUB, THESE NEW PURITANS, LIARS, PULLED APART BY HORSES, YEASAYER & HEAPS MORE.

CHECK OUT MY INTERVIEW W/ DALSTON BORN BAND COMANECHI. You've most likely heard the child-like yet blood-curling screeches of drummer and vocalist Akiko Matsuura at any number of festivals this summer with the rolling drums of Simon Petrovich providing the anthemic beat.

Photographer Roberta Ridolfi and I set up camp at COMANECHI's shared East London home where we took photos while Simon talked about the art of scoring a pre-loved grandma jumper for those taller fellas (check the arm length) and Akiko (Keeks) explained why appearing half naked on stage has less to do with being sexy and more to do with Bruce Lee and some Japanese band.

It's free and sexy at the following stores.

[CLICK IMAGES TO ENLARGE/READ]

Big ups to 'SUP Mag for printing another flavoursome issue!

Review: Ali Love @ CAMP

Dark electro pop meets mellow melters at Ali Love live! Check the full review here!

Topshop and TCT Bandstand Picnic

Summer’s greatest accomplice has always been the sun. When they get their timing right the hottest season and the hottest star make the most perfect of teams. Fortunately for London’s Topshop and Teenage Cancer Trust Bandstand Picnic Saturday 12 June was one of those days. Starting from midday the green grounds of Regent’s College were transformed into a small picnic like fete with “egg and spoon” and “sack” races. Those who were not participating could be heard in the distance enjoying the musically entertainment provided by the day’s musicians. The tiny bandstand was the stage from which bands including Charlotte Hatherley, Chew Lips and Ladyhawke (dj set) preformed. 

British indie-pop guitarist and singer-songwriter Charlotte Hatherley played a set of breezy, up-lifting, new-wave surging songs that emphasised sing-song lyrics, acoustic solos and female empowerment. Confident vocals and chiming guitars led the way though favourites ‘New Worlds’, ‘White’, Foo-Fighters-like ‘Colours’ and gentler ‘Alexander’. Best known for playing in other people’s bands (previously Ash and currently Bat For Lashes) today Hatherley proved she is no body’s back-up.

Three piece Chew Lips ecstatically played through their sunny synth dappled bevy of songs while bass player James Watkins and guitarist Will Sanderson rocked in their respective corners, petite vocalist Tigs drenched in sequins jumped about the stage as she bellowed into the microphone. Lo-fi electro dances tunes included: Slick, Solo, Karen and Salt Air. Though small in stature, powerful lead Tigs reflects the forward direction in which the London band are heading.

To end the classic picnic affair was New Zealand export Ladyhawke. The dishevelled blond took to the decks and played an eclectic mix of tunes ranging from The Cure, Ray Charles to Billy Ray Cyrus. As the tracks faded out T4 presenter Jameela Jamil jumped on stage and swiftly handed out prizes to those who’s “egg and spoon” and “sack” racing abilities exceeding their competitors. Congrats to my amigo Daniel ‘Danny’ Rice who is now the proud owner of a £100 Topshop voucher; personal shopper to boot.

Photo by Brooke Nipar.

Interview: Alan Pownall

West Londoner Alan Pownall does not care for your comparisons. Check the full interview here.

Interview: Liars

Check out LIARS' front-man Angus Andrew as he takes us through the grimy sugar-coated suburbia of the 21st century. Check his extended spiel here.

Race Horses

Check out Race Horses. They're a quartet from Wales and their debut is called "GOODBYE FALKENBURG".

They'll bend your ears and take you back to the 1960s. Their lofi sound, catchy hooks and distorted yet infectious guitar riffs will overpower your motor skills. 

Catch 'em next at Latitude Festival on 17 July!!

Karen Elson Model Turned Singer

It's a dangerous road riddled with cynicism and preconceived notions and like many models before her Karen Elson has decided to join the party. But does having the highly-lauded Jack White (part of the famous White Stripes) as a husband make this trajectory any less foolish? Check out the interview to make your decision.

El Guincho

El Guincho's new video for 'Hindou' off the new album Piratas de Sudamerica.

Pablo Díaz-Reixa will be playing in London at the Lexington on 5 August and at Standon Calling on 6 August!

LeCool July 02 - 06

Check out this week's LeCool London. 

The sun's out and the extra-curricular are a flowin'!

Bardens Boudoir shall be celebrating its bemoaned departure on 3 July.

And

East London's Truman Brewery will be hosting a Drive-In Cinema for all those nostalgic Londoners struggling to find a time machine.

OBERHOFER

It's a little bit wild bore and a little bit Animal Collective. There's sparsely echoing vocals, ticking clocks, xylophone tinkles and thrashing cymbals. It's energetic yet sporadic, it's got catchy percussion, tight melodies and wonderful whistling. OBERHOFER is American born Brad Oberhofer. Although starting off solo he has now expanded to include three other members. 

Brad's house burnt down. As a kickstart he decided to send his music to every and any blog.

Oberhofer Documentary from Agustin Lopez on Vimeo.

Wild Nothing

Virginia bred WILD NOTHING are currently taking their sweet acoustic laden harmonies throughout Europe they'll be finishing up with the UK on 29 July (ending in Manchester) and then on to Germany. Fortunately for all those Brits that missed out they'll be back on 20 August playing at the Luminaire!

Wild Nothing - Chinatown from Jack Tatum on Vimeo.

Live Review: Love Is All

The snap, crackle and pop of lofi Swedish darlings LOVE IS ALL were on display at East London's CAMP. Check the whole review here.

Interview: Holy Ghost!

New York's DFA sons talk to Skiddle about outfit coordination and how long it really takes to make a dime. Check it here.

Live Review: Broken Bells @ Royal Festival Hall - London

Broken Bells - The Shin's crooner James Mercer and Danger Mouse aka Brian Burton combine their creative juices. Click here to see the result.

May Live Review: Neon Indian

NEON INDIAN a texas-born band fronted by 22-year-old Alan Palomo took the stage at East London's CAMP basement and played through their debut PSYCHIC CHASMS. Loving an album from start to finish is a rare occurrence but Psychic Chasms is most certainly an exception. So tonight my expectations were rather high. Having a bevy of live shows already neatly tucked behind their belt the synth-pop quartet kick it off with “6669 (I Don’t Know If You Know)” and played a tight show yet something was missing. 

It has been strongly recommended by many that this 1980's dream-weave music should definitely not be heard out of the speakers of a mere laptop. To do this would only degenerate the quality and purpose of what Palomo and co. are trying to create. But tonight it felt like I was listening to Psychic Chasms through a computer's tinny speakers and as a result the spin tingling chill, usually incited by the American band was no-where to be found.

Well known “Psychic Charms” and “Should Have Taken Acid With You” are well received by the crowd yet as much as I tried to close my eyes; gently swaying to the music, it seemed the most-anticipated depth was lacking. Nothing reverberated within my cavity. It was dull, almost life-less. Due to the ridiculously low sound on Palomo's microphone, the lead's vocals were unfortunately drowned out by Ronald Gierhart's electric strummings. It was as if we were listing to a band sans its singer. However, eventually I did muster up the courage to tap Palomo on the leg before explaining that the rest of us hadn't heard a word he'd 'said' all night. And they did turn it up, just in time for the last songs: “Deadbeat Summer” and “Ephemeral Artery”. Physically Palomo had all the right moves. His body convulsed in time with the spasmic, lofi crackles and pops of “Psychic Chasms” yet it is a shame that live such an amazing band, with one exquisite album, failed to share their aural treasures due to mere technical difficulties.

Trentemoller Interview up on Skiddle.com

He'll be accompanied by his 7 piece live orchestra in October at London's Roundhouse.

Live: Local Natives @ Shepherd's Bush Empire - London

Watch out for the live review!

Interview: Local Natives

LA band "Local Natives" played Shepherd's Bush Empire on Wed 15 June. It was their second time playing the epic venue but their first time as a headliner. It's safe to say that the show was an harmonic adventure of luscious lyrics of joy and despair with a quintet who couldn't fit more perfectly. From spending months on end eating "nothing but peanut butter and jelly sandwiches" they may not be able to afford a tour bus: "those things are expensive" but they've certainly proved "Local Natives" are not just another 'hype' band.

Watch out for a full throttle interview on skiddle.com!

Interview: Love Is All

I had the pleasure of seeing Gothenburg born-band LOVE IS ALL preform at East London's CAMP. They played through their new album "2010 Injuries" and reminisced back to older albums: "Nine Times That Same Song" and "One Hundred Things Keep Me Up At Night".

I was lucky enough to sit down with pixie-like front-woman Josephine Olausson to speak all things KAROAKE and WAITING.

Sneak Peak:

Describe what you do in a day?
I think more than anything we ‘wait’ a lot. This is not going to be one sentence, sorry. But we’re always waiting for microphones, or the sound system.

I hear your ferry was delayed and it ended up taking you 12 hours to get to London today.
Yea exactly. It was really frustrating. People don’t realise how much waiting bands do.

A lot of lyricists say things in their life inspire them and sometimes they’ll write lines down to use for later. Do you do that?
That usually happens to me and I’ll be like: “I should write that down”. But I never do and then I forget.

Catch the rest on SKIDDLE.COM soon!

LeCool June 17 - 23

LeCool London 17-23 out today.

Note the new address!

Click away.

Boys Noize Interview

Boys Noize Interview - We spoke to Alex Ridah about everything but the Bratwurst.

Every Four Years - World Cup 2010

Last night the UK and the US went head-to-head and what resulted was a boring' ol' draw. Nothing more nothing less. At least when someone loses there's tears. Nope. Not last night. I've heard the British can get pretty feisty when they lose a game. And unfortunately I myself can not vouch for this.

Don't get me wrong I don't want the UK to lose, I mean it's been so kind to let me stay as long as I have. BUT SOMEONE NEEDS TO LAUGH, CRY OR SHOUT. None of this ambivalence. Raw emotion is a necessary element to any football match.

The image to the left is the front-page of the NY Post. I guess the Americans have finally got the hang of irony. Let's hope that's all it is.

Tonight sees Australia take on Germany.

If there was any time to be patriotic - it shall be tonight.

Go Australia!

DARIA - When MTV Championed the Outcast

Last month marked the release of MTV show Daria on DVD. The show born in 1997 followed Daria, a misfit cretin whose apathy became an integral part of her character and charm. Running until 2002 the American black comedy was broadcast at a time when MTV championed the 'outcast'. They weren't busy trying to show kids of the late nineties who to be but just to be. 

These days MTV is better known for shows such as Laguna Beach and The Hills where the audience is conditioned to believe that if you're rich, tanned and popular the fact that you struggle to form a complete sentence is a small glitch that shouldn't overshadow the more important things in life: being rich, tanned and popular.

DARIA on DVD is a nice reminder of how things used to be on MTV.

Dominique Young Unique - Elastic Rap Candy

June 10 saw the internet dominated by one 19-year-old Tampa lass whose mix tape 'Domination' is doin' the rounds. 

DOMINQUE UNIQUE sings in a self-assured sultry voice about well.. herself kickin' booty. 

She's a hard-ass combination of Missy Elliot's strength, M.I.A's 'don't-give-a f**k-attitude' and Spank Rock's foul linguistics (See 'Pussy Popping'). The diva rapper preformed at the last SXSW and the rapid reverberator is already a sure fire hit on the blogosphere.

Dominique Young Unique - Domination by Toast Press

BRODINSKI - The Creators Project

French producer & DJ Louis Brodinski is a mere 22 years of age. You wouldn't know it by the amount of facial foliage he's sporting (yes please). He's been signed to Canadian label Turbo (owned by Tiga) and his stuff has also been produced by fellow Frenchie Yuksek. He's hot on the wave of all things sonically appealing and is one of the internet's biggest fans. He admits to never owning a record and has no qualms being apart of the MP3 Generation.

Watch out for our interview with the BRODINSKI for skiddle.com. Until then enjoy the below interview organised for the newly established creative network known as The Creators Project.

Click here to see the full doco!

The Creators Project - DIPLO

Click image to see video documentary!

Short doco of the trajectory of highly-lauded producer and DJ DIPLO. It's one of many from the new collective known as The Creators Project. Check it out for more revealing footage of other creative pioneers including Mark Ronson, Brazil's CSS, France's Brodinski, YYY's Nick Zinner and MANY MANY MORE. Stay tuned for the big day in London on 17 July.

Dummy Album Review: The Drums: The Drums

Click to see the saccharine review of The Drums impending debut self titled (17 June 2010), albeit quite short, in its full glory.

Band of Horses - Infinite Arms

Echoing guitars, soaring melodies and rootsy undertones is a simplified equation to the success of US rock band Band of Horses yet the dictum less is ALWAYS more certainly rings true. 2010 sees the boys gearing up for an extensive jaunt through the UK, Australia and America. First stop the UK. The 9 June sees them hit London terrain at Camden's magnificent rotunda otherwise known as the Roundhouse.

Check out this 2010 MTV interview with Ben Bridwell and Tyler Ramsey.

The Golden Girls: A Golden Age

What's with everything going KAPUT? T'is common knowledge that we have ZERO power over the almighty force that is the Grim Reeper. But come on! It's Summer, that's the one right after Spring; the blossoming has progressed and now it's time for development and growth. The sunshine and temporality of life should be enough of an incentive. Yet the existence of people and print alike is ceasing before my very eyes. Just last night I hear the news that a third Golden Girl has died. Our beloved silver foxes that kept us entertained during our impressionable stages in life, soaking it in like a sponge, are dropping like flies.

Since 2008, 1 Golden Girl has died per year. It was Estelle Getty who first left the mother ship followed by Bea Arthur in 2009 and today in 2010 we celebrate the life of Rue McLanahan. The lady that once played the bawdy, sexually liberated Blanche Deveraux, for a good part of her life. Today she leaves us reruns of an Emmy Award winning show that always came back to that kitchen table. From 1982 a whole decade of GGs was laid out for us. That kitchen table bore witness to their inane conflicts, dreams and tantrums yet succesfully managed to entertain the world over. The Golden Girls proved that a lady doesn't have to be a Gossip Girl to gain warranted and well-deserved attention. To this day The Golden Girls has more balls and sensibility than many of its predecessors.

If there is a god, LEAVE BETTY WHITE ALONE.

A day later I receive news of another death; that of Australia's Ralph Magazine. It's inky pages have fallen victim to the Internet. The impalpable net has used its main source of fuel; the one of instant gratification as a pseudo kryptonite against its veteran competitor; the printed publication. It seems some may fall yet others still stand.

Metric Interview - Past Monster Hospital

Click HERE for the full interview in which METRIC's Haines and Shaw dispel any rumours around the YEAH YEAH YEAHS, TV ON THE RADIO, LIARS & AMICABILITY.

LeCOOL LDN - 3 - 9 JUNE

This weeks's LeCool London out now. Check out the new design layout!

Click here for the weekly culture vulture!

Etienne de Crecy Interview

Etienne de Crecy encourages love on the dance-floor..Check the love doctors notes at skiddle.com. CLICK FOR FULL INTERVIEW

The Twelves Interview

THE TWELVES INTERVIEW: Luciano Oliveria talks about shitty promo gifts, legal relaxants to get the creative juices flowing and what it's like to be less popular in your home. Check Skiddle.com for the whole rant.

Interview: Metric - A Life of Its Own

Last week I paid a visit to East London's swanky Shoreditch House to meet up with Emily Haines and James Shaw of Canadian band METRIC. Their most recent album 'Fantasies' takes a different direction to its predecessors by portraying a more intimate side of the band.

Both Haines and Shaw were only too happy to share their thoughts and opinions (of which they had a lot of) on their path to the present day.

Here's a snippet to tie you over till next week. Watch out for the Metic interview on Skiddle.com

So you didn’t all collaborate? Perhaps jam together?

EMILY: Well, no. One of my favourite myths to burst the bubble of, is the idea that there we all were jammin’ away. Not true at all. The one thing that we did have in common is that we all wanted to get out of that fucking loft. It was a very bad-ass group of people who were not looking for anything but to move forward on their own. Maybe that’s sad but I kind of like that idea.

 

JAMES: Personally that’s what I got from NY. I never got a supportive energy. Everyone is looking out for themselves and no one gives a shit about anyone else.

EMILY: Which is good. That’s why you go to NY.

Souls of Mischief

Interview: Souls of Mischief - The Return. Check the full article on skiddle.com

Review: Stag and Dagger

Check the complete Stag and Dagger review at Skiddle.com

LifeLounge Archive: Joaquin Phoenix quits and turns to rapping

Click to see whole feature on the birth of Joaquin Phoenix's rap career.

Ghost Busters III - The Judd Apatow Ressurection

It's been down at the rumour for a while now and it was only a matter of time before some executive schmuck confirmed the internet's suspicions. I guess finally that time has come. Comedic super-hero director Judd Apatow (Superbad, Knocked Up, 40 Year Old Virgin and Funny People) has officially been announced that Apatow Productions will indeed be in charge of the third installment of everyone's friendly ghost removalists. The upcoming 3rd will be written by The Office writers Lee Eisenberg and Greg Stupnitsky. It's been reported that neither Bill Murray or Dan Aykroyd have been allowed to confirm anything until now! It seems everyone's favourite old guy hipster kid Mr B Murray is already getting in on the action.

In case you don't get the hipster reference check out Bill Murray's bar-tending stint at 2010's SXSW. B-Man is all over the jeuneuse!

**Top photo taken from Hipster Runoff.

Richard Kern & VBS.TV = In Various States of Undress - Naturally.

Last night was the opening night of Richard Kern's exhibition 'Shot by Kern Europe'. It was an affair like so many other (Vice) affairs before it. Upon entering the Hoxton Square exhibition I was greeted with a number of portraits lining bleak white walls. The portraits were of semi-nude / completely nude girls partaking in some menial activity. Smoking a bong/joint, embracing in the forest, lying on a bed, brushing teeth etc. The exhibition follows Kern on a six-country European tour in which he shot girls in various states of undress.

Initially I felt like I was in some parallel universe; staring at complete porn with 10 guys standing around me also 'appreciating' Kern's work. There was even a video in a small separate room that watched as a curvy Spanish lass sultrily swayed in front of the camera before removing her bra and then drawing on herself (boobs, stomach, bottom) with a purple texta. But the best had to be the one from the photographer's classic 'Up-Skirt' Series. A 4x5 display of 20 different standing ladies from the perception of someone who uses a camera while lying between their legs. Birds eye view, indeed.

Enjoy.

The dark-haired girl in the end photo of the above work is in fact the drummer in the Big Pink and singer and drummer in punk-rock noise-machine Comanechi. I had previously interviewed Comanechi and as a result instantly recognised her photo. Later outside I ran into her and congratulated her. It went something along the lines of: "Congratulations I think everyone in Shoreditch has now seen your boobies". My interview with her will be in the next issue of 'SUP Mag.

Speaking of quite a few east-end girls I know were approached to have their own semi/completely nude photos taken by the infamous US photographer. All but one refused. For her efforts Jana will be paid £50. Ch-ching.

Admittedly I will say that the very popular (I wonder why?) VBS.TV behind the scenes series is a rather interesting watch. The show interviews the girls in the photos about why they've agreed to be shot in such compromising positions etc. Obviously the Americans always have the most inane responses.

I'm From Rolling Stone

It seems every scribe and his pen wants to be a music journalist these days. You know the usual spiel. I hope that one day I too can work for a highly renowned music publication such as Rolling Stone. "It's longevity is a testament to its quality of craft and passion for all things aurally gorgeous". Well in 2007, MTV television decided to jump on this wagon; one that would most certainly rake in the' cash. And so as to not make things too confusing, we are talking about an MTV audience here guys, they're the one's that relish at the sight of those beef-head Guidos on Jersey Shore, the show was called I'm From Rolling Stone. It was everything it's name claimed to be and not much more.

Six aspiring muso-journos were plucked from their respective American cities and given Summer internships in the hope of landing a Contributing Editor position at the highlight esteemed rock magazine. 

The Players

Krishtine de Leon was a local hip-hop magazine editor from San Francisco // Peter Maiden, an Australian college student at UC Berkeley // Tika Milan, a lesbian poet and freelance journalist from Brooklyn, NY // Russell Morse, a former juvenile deliquent turned reporter for a local San Francisco newspaper // Krystal Simpson from CA with a love for classic rock // Colin Stutz, a 20 year old University of Southern California student from Oregon

Upon the final episode the winner was to be Krishtine de Leon; however, if reality television has taught this generation anything it's that you don't actually have to win the competition to 'win the competition'.

Aussie boy Pete Maiden who didn't manage to win the show did in fact win 'off the show'. He is currently the video editor for Rolling Stone and I'm not really sure what Miss Krishtine de Leon is doing.

Check out Maiden's Rolling Stone expedition, so far..

Pete Maiden Rolling Stone sample from peter maiden on Vimeo.

Stay tuned.

Interview: Vitalic for Skiddle.com

Click here to view the whole Vitalic interview on Skiddle.com.

Festival Review: Nuits Sonores on skiddle.com

Click here to read the full review of 2010's Nuits Sonores.

Nuits Sonores and Busy P

The Nuits Sonores Festival had events scattered all over Lyon. The below is a video of Busy P DJing at the Mini Sonore helf at the Piscine de Rhone. A location with a pool fixed to the size of the river Rhone. Alas you had to be under 10 to attend!

And yes Mr Pedro Winter is the dinosaur behind the decks.

Here is the Ed Banger Daddy's account of his experience at the Nuits Sonore. CHECK IT! Apparently it took them 8 years to ask him to play and he wasn't even on the poster. Quel Horreur!

Music Festival - "Nuits Sonores" - Lyon, France

Wow apologies for the lack of posting, I was in France enjoying the electronic/indie festival Nuits Sonores. Seriously even my Facebook was neglected. Such an occurrence is a rare thing yet quite cleansing none the less. So I went back to my second home to catch up with heaps of friends and eat amazing food. Kudos to my French friend's mum for cooking us fish for lunches! Merci Romain! A nice change from the usual cheese toasty my mum would have served up. Slacker! Jokes. Love ya mum.

Oh did I mention the music? I knew I'd get side-tracked by the food! The festival was an intense hazardous ear-beating. Spread over four days during the day and night; all over the city it was an aural spectacle like no other. The weather even managed to behave itself. Prior to my arrival the forecast read: Heavy rain. What we got was a little more pleasant. Little rain. Thank Christ.

I'll be writing up a review for skiddle.com but before then a quick highlight overview is most certainly in order.

Night 1:

Vitalic (Room 1)

Hot Chip (Room 2)

Jesse Rose (Room 2)

Paul Kalkbrenner (Room 1)

Night 3:

Jamie Lidell (Room 1)

Unkle (Room 1)

Yuksek (Room 2)

The Juan Maclean (Room 1)

Laurent Garnier (Room 3)

Night 4:

Hudson Mohawke (Room 3)

2ManyDjs (Room 3)

A munted Joe Goddard (Hot Chip) dancing away while Jesse Rose DJ'd at the decks was a pretty entertaining site!

Review up soon as I can get it ouuuut!

Please Hold The Line - Gotye "Thanks For Your Time"

Gotye nee Walter De Backer is 29 year-old Australian artist more commonly known as GOTYE. He's released two studio albums and the featured song "Thanks For Your Time" was released in 2008. Every time this song pops up on my shuffle playlist I bare a little smile for Down Under. I know I've been away from home too long because instead of becoming irritated by what follows from 2:25 mins, instead I find it endearing. Nevertheless, if you're an Aussie you'll definitely emphasize with Wally's sentiments.

Wally also used to play drums for Melbourne indie band The Basics. I remember meeting them once - their comments directed at their third member were a little snarkey to say the least. His solo success definitely surpassed that of the groups.

The video was animated and directed by Lucy Dyson. Enjoy!

Gotye- Thanks For Your Time from Gotye on Vimeo.

MTV Movie Awards Promo - Fail @ Funny

2010'S MTV Movie Awards will be hosted by none other than comedian and all-round funny, crude and crass american-indian (not Red Indian) Aziz Ansari. The promotional virals have all ready started flooding the internet with celebrities including Kristen Bell (boring blonde), Puff I mean P.Diddy and pretty boy Zac Efron. FYI Zac Efron it seems you're slowly being overshadowed by a younger prettier version of yourself. Hello Justin Bieber.

Anyway the shin-dig takes place on 6 June and in anticipation of the star-studded event the above is one of two videos from the advertising campaign. Take a gander. I'm just not feelin' 'em. You ain't got nothin' o'er Sarah Silverman, Aziz. Even if you are best-friends with Kanye West, James Murphy and TVOTR's Dave Sitek. (Check out Aziz & Sitek's mix-tape here).

Naomi Campbell and Co. Body Facists

Although ubiquitous super-model Naomi Campbell went on Opera and blamed her aggressive stints on a "type of emotional disorder … an abandonment issue" it seems others speculate a more obvious answer. One which is oh so synonymous with the lady's chosen 'career' path. It seems Miss Campbell's diet has some answering to do.

Three times a year the leggy super-model goes on a strict syrup diet. That's right syrup. But unfortunately for her there isn't any light, fluffy, pancakes involved. You know the one's that literally melt butter? Well forget about it. The "Maple Syrup" diet involves drinking syrup mixed with cayenne pepper, lemon juice and water. And voila eventually after a long and arduous journey you too can be skin and bones. Unfortunately no amount of sugared water is going to make you into a Lucy Leggy. You'll have to take that one up with your genes.

Bootylicious singer Beyonce also swears by the diet with an added laxative tea in the evening and lukewarm sea-salt water in the morning. Follow her method and you too can lose the body mass of a small child. To see what we prepared earlier please refer to her film "Dream Girls".

For 10 (assumedly) torturous months Art Director Charles Saatchi lived off eggs along. For Breakfast, Lunch and Dinner he had nothing but the spheroid shaped cell and as a result lost 80 pounds. We're sure his wife Nigella Lawson, famous for her 'knack' for cooking was very inspired.

Campbell, Saatchi & Knowles are not the only contenders on this lack lustrous expedition. Yet they were one of the very few brave enough to speak out. To raise their voice against the tide of hush. Let's each raise a glass of laxative tea to our courageous soldiers who show us "not what to do".

Chin Chin.