Thursday, 30 October 2008

This is what I love about London


THURSDAY 30/10/08


Free beverages provided


American Apparel Halloween Pre-party @ CARGO
Free Beverages (tbc)


Toy Pirate Exhibition at OLD SHOREDITCH STATION
Free Beverages Provided


American Apparel Halloween party @ CARGO


Toy Pirate Halloween After Party @ OLD SHOREDITCH STATION

You'd think nothing could top such a FREE lineup, but it can. They are all within walking distance of my bed. Awesome.

Tuesday, 28 October 2008

I am part of your lexicon + Vivecoolcity

Do you know what I despise? Those blogs that post nothing but other people's material.

Seriously, if you're gonna be responsible for a disruptive, rude, boisterous but impressionable blog then you gotta stand by your baby and take some responsibility.

Here are a couple o' rules to get your engine started:

1) SPELLING - For christ sake, it's the golden apple, the numero uno. If you're going to insit on gttin tit rong, put a disclaimer up the top stating your incapacity to spell or cheat and use spell checker.

2)COPYRIGHT - Or should I say copy and paste. Don't go all the Milli Vanilli on our German ass' and take ownership of something when the actual owner is all the way on the other-side of the land. T'is not worth it, cause most chimps who cross your blogosphere will most likely have crossed the sad sack's who you stole it from.

3)QUALITY - I'm all for the YOUTUBE nation, but when all you're churning out is vid after vid of 'Michael Jackson danglin' his spawn', or 'Britney Spears et al' what are you good for? No, really, what?

And on that note here is a vid from Australian site VIVECOOLCITY.

This is dedicated to all us self-confessing Groupie Slutzz:

**Disclaimer: All views and opinions are mine only and mine only. Ie. Who the f**k am I to be telling you what to do with your aimless life. If incorrect grammer and spelling get you off than by all means, you show that word who's boss and make it part of your lexicon.

Friday, 24 October 2008

Benicio Del Toro

Tonight I'm going to check out coyly smug-mug Benicio Del Toro at the BFI Southbank.

It's going to be rad, short for radical.

From row G his husky voice will be the only sound byte I hear and that's more than okay with moi. He'll be laying out the facts of (his) life/career and his most recent producing project Che (premieres this Saturday). Visions of pending ignorance have encouraged me to delve a little bit deeper into the guerilla life that was Argentinian revolutionist Che Guevara.
If only to bring me a little closer to Benicio himself.

Above: Del Toro doin a damn fine impression of Che.

L: Che & Castro

While you wait for me to post back, feast your beedy eyes balls on Alberto Korda's famous photograph of Che.

Titled, Guerrillero Heroico it was taken on March 5, 1960, but seen on nearly every t-shirt this side of Hong Kong. Google his name and you'll know what I mean.

Guevara was 31 when this picture was taken in Havana, Cuba at a memorial service for victims of the La Coubre explosion.

This image may as well be the symbol of pop-culture. Hell, the first place I saw it was on my younger brother's wall, and I still had no idea who it was. This is defintely one of those images that has made it through time, but the story that comes with it is no longer taught in class or in history books but through the film industry. 2004 saw the writer's book on his motorcycle travels through Latin America be turned into the movie, The Motorcycle Diaries. Go figure.

And this l'il doozy the one that really did breed like a rabbit was originally created by Jim Fitzpatrick in 1967.

Beautiful Losers Premiere & After Party

A doco/movie that says it's okay to be a freak/geek/outcast because in
the end they all turn into butterflies. Get it? This is a film for all those who were made to feel like they were nothing, just an insignificant caterpillar. But now director Aaron Rose says it's the caterpillar's turn to shine.
It's a feel good piece with skaters and graffiti artists to boot. Need a confidence boost? Check this mother out.

The After Party @ Cordy House followed the secret premiere of the movie, a day earlier than scheduled. It featured £5 door entry, unless you held a BFI ticket stub or like me you arrived 1 hour before finish and kicked up enough of a fuss to be let in for free.
There were light installations and DJs who weren't too shabby, especially Squeek E. Clean.

Thursday, 23 October 2008

BFI London Film Festival 2008

So the BFI London Film Festival ( started on the 15/10 showcasing a bevy of talented actors, screenwriters, directors and funnily enough, the films themselves. But of course it wasn't really as simple as logging on to the site on the 15/Oct, instead paying members received first pickings 5 days earlier. And although, there are multiple of screenings of most movies, this meant many of the films were booked out before the 15th even came around. However, these are just the words of a tight, rather unorganised individual who could have put in a lot more effort.

In any case, 30 mins before every screening new tickets are released and this my dear friend is salvation for those who share my enthusiasm but also lack the motivation to do anything about it, until it's ALMOST too late.

So there are many anticipated events and films on the bill this year, including;


British director Danny Boyle (pictured above), who is the man behind Sunshine and 28 Days Later, has this time taken a very different path. Jamal Malik, an 18-year-old orphan from the slums of Mumbai, played by Dev Patel (lanky, awkward dude from Skins, kinda looks like my brother..) leads the love story set in India. The Skinny of it is; Jamal Malik (Dev with Skins crew is the wide-eyed, doppy fella top left) is one question away from winning 20 million rupees on India's Who Wants to be a Millionaire when the police arrest him on on suspicion of cheating.

The story of his life unravels as the Slumdog attempts to prove his innocence, each episode is linked to each game-show question he was given.

This poignant tale plays on the closing night with all attending (and all who miss out) holding very VERY high expectations.
BFI 8:30pm
Speaks about his highly-lauded career and his experience acting and producing the film Che (Part 1 & Part 2).
The understated genius takes the stand and talks all things weird, warpde and wonderful. He's worked with Spike Jonze and Michel Gondry (Science of Sleep, Be Kind Rewind) and is the mastermind behing Eternal Sunshine of a Spotless Mind & Being John Malcovich.

Tuesday, 21 October 2008

Why you don't pick up at bars

While in London one of the most popular things to be, other than a Shoreditch whore, is a bar-tender. The second most popular thing to be, is one who attends those bars, in the hope of attaining a free beverage or two or three. After listening to the late night tales of my many bar-tending enthusiasts, I have come to the conclusion that the bar-tenders themselves also enjoy benefiting from their position. Some know how to work the system, ie. each time they serve a customer they serve themselves, others are under the watchful eye of surveillance and rely on the kindness of customers. However, to expect such customer generosity it helps to be one of the following:

1)Very personable; in the way that you were voted person most likely to talk the pants off a nun.


2) Rather ravishing; in the way that you have learnt to deal with the fact that most people don't really care what you have to say but in an attempt to 'score' will pretend to listen anyway.

My friend 'Barry' is the latest individual to jump into the beer barrel and luckily for him he holds one of the above qualities. In this case, ambiguity will be upheld in order to ensure his head maintains its entitled surface area.

About a week or so ago, I received a call from 'Barry', he instructed me and another friend 'Syler' to join him and his new friends. Apparently, while closing shop, the generous strangers had encouraged him to join them at their Indian restaurant on Brick Lane. We reluctantly agreed and made our way. Upon arrival we were greeted by an empty eatery and thus followed the hedonistic sounds coming from the second floor, where we found Barry and three new friends, a young American lady and two British lads, chowing down on some curried delights.

While at the table there were whispers (by Barry) that the skinny one with the receding hairline and the stout boisterous one were in fact owners of the establishment, and as a result everything was 'on the house'. Syler and I exchanged glances and made our way to the refrigerated haven that would uncover the party about to be had.

Receding hairline explained that both he and his parter worked at Coutts Bank but as a side project owned 25 per cent respectively. He said they often recommended the establishment to their wealthy customers and as a result the bevy of regulars was enough to keep the place afloat.

The night continued with Mark the stout Englishman egotistically raving on about a whole load of crap which had no validity. On the rare occasion in which I sided with the nasal American gal, I received a reply of slurred barkings. However, the 'he's paying for our free night on the raz, don't tick him off' look from across the table, was as effective reminder for me to keep my eye on the prize.

After finishing my second bottle of cider and quietly noting that the night had actually ended quite successfully, 'Syler' returned from the boys room and promptly queried the where abouts of his iPhone. I had no reply other than a shrug of the shoulders. We looked high and low, quizzed the scurrying staff, 'Syler' retraced his steps and Barry even looked through the trash.

Skinny & Stout

We then turned to the respective owners, only to be faced with a M.I.A (missing in action). The stout gent had mysteriously yet conveniently disappeared, but the skinny bean pole quickly put our worries to rest by announcing Mark had gone out for a quick smoko. We followed him down the stairs, where in fact there was no smoking stout just a confused looking friend who hastily whipped out his phone and dialled Mark. Apparently, he had gone to catch the last train and was on his way back. By this time we'd spilled onto the street, fingers were being pointed and vulgarities were being tossed about in the hope that someone would confess.

Mark finally turned up and then 5mins later had disappeared again.

Things continued to spiral:

Fed up, Syler muttered future actions involving 'wrecking this place'.

The owner shot back with a threat on Syler's life, ie. 'I'll slit your throat'

Barry called the police.

We found out from a squealer that Skinny and Stout did not in fact own a percentage of the establishment.

The cook tried to backtrack, stating that both men bought the restaurant 'many, many customers' and they were 'ghost owners'. That's right folks you heard it here first, you can take credit for owning a restaurant and not actually own it at all. Just make sure there isn't a squealer in the group.

The police arrived, took out their pad and paper and lay down the law.
Nothing was done and we left, empty handed.

Moral of the story: Mark is a genius. Pour some free alcohol into an unsuspecting victim, then citing the need for a tabacco release take their iphone and run. Because apparently 'see no evil, hear no evil' is the name of this game. Sounds like a mighty fine business venture and something the rest of us should look in to.

Aside from attempting to merge the rear end of the owner with that of a nearby vehicle, overall 'Syler' handled himself with dignity and grace. I took much deserved pity on Syler and his 400 pound loss.

Two days later he mentioned that he realised he could claim it on travel insurance.

Yes, yes you can Syler you baboon. After that comment all pity points had vanished.

What are you looking at?

My photo
I am more than prone to monologues; however, this is solely due to the manner in which they compliment a witty anecdote and their ability to resemble concrete evidence when it is so obviously lacking. I often wish I could emulate that aloof character who coolly stands in the corner smiling mysteriously as if she has a secret. However, I fear resisting the temptation to involve myself in other people’s conflicts and responding through body language rather than verbose banter may come across as contrived and arrogant. And, I am not willing to take that chance.

Ye Faithful