Friday, 29 February 2008

Doin' Sweet Fa'

The great thing about London is that there is always something happening after work, especially Thursdays and Fridays... an added bonus is that it more often than not involves free alcholic beverages.

Thursday night we headed to an art exhibition (promising free alcohol), unfortunately by the time we found our way there, they were fresh out of the good stuff. Dang. As we left, we passed a homeless guy going in and helping himself to one of the many half-empty beer bottles cluttering the store. Now why didn't I think of that..

Next we moved onto a bar recommended by Gumnut and ordered a round of cocktails. 4 empty glasses later, the barman/owner asked us what wine we preferred after 2 mins of rowdy diliberation we compromised on Rosé. Apparently he was/is in a band and someone bought their song and he received 10,000 pounds for it... when we asked for the myspace link he said they'd broken up... still don't really understand. Nevertheless the offer of free Rosé was (literallty) on the table. But Monique wouldn't have any of it. She insisted it was a) past its use by date or b) drugged. However, even after listing all her conspiracy theories she still managed to conjure up the energy to pick up her glass and finish it off.

The Grand Final of Secretwars ( is taking place at Cafe 1001. Graffiti artists battle it out against one another using black pens on white washed walls.

Cafe 1001 ( is amazing.
* Doin' Sweet Fa'- Doing Sweet F**k All...

Monday, 25 February 2008

Journo Jobs

So I'm forever looking for Journo jobs that I deem apropriate. What do you think about this one... I think it's the desperation seeping through...

Prison Radio, HMYOI Aylesbury

Want to make radio for a truly captive audience? We require a Variable Hours Lecturer to deliver the NCFE Level 1 Introducing Radio Production Award in the purpose built radio station (Simian playout system using Adobe Audition for production) at the prison for up to three days per week. The role requires a broad knowledge of all areas of radio broadcasting, primarily production, presentation and studio technology. The on-air priority of the radio station is to provide a unique service to a tightly defined audience.
Prison life can be bewildering and isolating, and, although most young prisoners have access to a television and radio, programmes depicting ordinary life on the outside can be alienating and irrelevant. Prison radio allows prisoners to broadcast to their peers, it can bring a real sense of unity to the establishment and aid the flow of information.
We need a tutor who can get the very best out of all our young prisoners, teach them how to make intelligent entertaining radio, to think, to explore, to broaden their own minds and then pass that experience to others over the air. HMYOI Aylesbury is a long term Young Offenders Institution in the centre of Aylesbury. The Education Department delivers a diverse curriculum, including extensive vocational programmes.

Radio Station Tutor Variable Hours Lecturers – HMYOI Aylesbury Salary, per annum: £16,976 to £25,704 pro rata

To apply:If you are interested in this position please send your CV to:

A Sunday night starting at 12 midday- an illustration

Kubicle- The renovated public toilet. On a Sunday from 12 in the afternoon it's better known as 'Public Life'
The roof- it's strange to be inside a club lit by the sunlight. As the day gets later and the sun goes down, the lighting also fades.

Saturday, 23 February 2008

The Horse's Hind Legs

Today was probably the worst day of work since I started 2 weeks ago, just a lot of crappy bullshit; deadlines, emails, more emails and even more emails. I am officially the inbox bitch. That’s not my official job title but it pretty much sums it up.

Tonight the Brit Awards are on and as we speak the celebs are sitting in Earl's Court looking glamorous and, or drunk. This is of course only speculation, due to the fact that my tv room is currently staging a dance production by 'Jasmine’s 27 year old loser landlord'..

I don’t think I could actually stomach looking inside the room, but one minute Rhianna was telling him to ‘shut up and drive’ (little ironic since he doesn't even have a driver's licence) and the next minute some bollywood song is seeping through the cracks of the lounge-room door.
This sort of behaviour is a current occurrence in my house-hold, I’m just glad he has the decency to close the door behind him.

Why would I CHOOSE to live with someone whose antics encourage my boiling rage .. watch this space.

Anyway back to the awesomeness that is London town. This week there have been so many great gigs on and although I am yet to attend one, they are awesome none the less.

Mon night- Cut Copy supported Hadouken at Koko, which is literally the building next door to mine.

Tues night- NZ boys Cut Off Your Hands played at the Barfly (10 mins walk from my house) and Electric 6 also played. You know Danger, danger.. high voltage, when we touch etc etc.

Wed night- My friend Mon gave me her free Sebastien Tellier tix (but of course I didn’t end up making it).
Nouvelle Vogue were also playing a sold out gig and someone else…

Tomorrow night- I’m going to see NYPC do a free DJ set.

Fri- Cut Copy and Simian mobile Disco are playing at Fabric, for 10 pounds.
And Mark Ronson also plays.

Sat- The Teenagers are playing in my town, Camden and Boysnoize are Djing in a Shoreditch car-park.

Then of course there is Juggers and Busy P playing on 20/March.

London Bridge is falling down

After getting off the train I took a detour to the library and borrowed some books. In an attempt to assimilate I chose a book writen by Katie Price, otherwise known as Jordon, the British Pamala Anderson, the tanned chicken married to our very own Peter Andre. Then I thought a slight amount of brain stimulation could be nice, so I also borrowed About a Boy. As I walked out of the library I passed a growing line of punky/emo youths loitering outside the music club Kokos. Tonight its stage would be graced by Hadouken and Cut Copy.

Funnily enough Cut Copy was supporting Hadouken. .. wack.

Anyway it was a totally surreal leaving a building whose concept was built around being silent and reading but then literally two seconds later witnessing a mass crowd whose clothing choices were less of a whisper and more of a scream... while the building they waited to enter was the exact opposite to that of the Camden Library.

Oh yea I am know a library member which means not only do I have access to FREE books but also DVDs for 2 pounds. It’s amazing what resources you can find to ease the pain of a rather tight wallet, or better yet bank account…

[UPDATE: Mon has informed me that 2 pounds is a rip off. However, I just couldn't fathom the fact that the libray would rip me off! Even if this is not true, the fact that the libraries don't offer an after hours 'drop box' is a big problem. This issue prevents a borowee from returning their '40 year old virgin' DVD, after the library shuts. Which in turn means that Jasmine is stuck with a late-fee, which means that this DVD was definately not a cheap venture!]

Loo roll and Mushrooms

A couple of days ago, for a respective 40 pence each, I scored a box of mushrooms and a pack of 4 toilet rolls!

My staple diet:

Bowl of cornflakes at the office desk. Not only can I wake up late but I can also use the milk at work.

Well I’m still plowing through my kilo of bananas and when there is 'left-overs' from work meetings.. there is often a mass exodus of workers. The workers can later be found huddled around the trays of gourmet sandwiches lining the kitchen bench.

Rice, frozen veggies, curried egg (nothing but fried egg and curry powder). To add a bit of variety to the dinner table, sometimes I’ll substitute the eggs for a frozen pie. Because 'variety really is, the spice of life'. lol

The Melbourne boys

Last night Mon, Jo and I made the trek down to Fabric Night Club, to see Cutters and Simian Mobile Disco whip out some tunes. As the cab pulled up to the curve, we began countin our pennies and the driver cut sick at us. Granted it took us a good 5 mins or so, but still! Not only that but he left the metre on for a good 55 pence while we were gathering our moolah. The nerve.

As we jumped out, Jo politely but sternly informed the driver that he was 'very rude'. As we slammed the door behind us, i can only assume from lip-reading that his response was not of the G-rated genre.

With our Fabric membership cards in hand, we were shocked to learn that the 20 metre long crowd spilling onto the street, was in fact the V.I.P line. Guess that's what a 6 pound membership card gets you. Not much. 40 mins later, we were in. 20 mins later we were at the front of the cloak room line. 10 mins later we were the leaders of the toilet line. shit-load of lines.
After collecting our 3.90 pound beers we pushed our way to the front of the Cut Copy awaitees. They were good, they started with their new stuff... don't know if it has anything over their previous stock but... they know how to get a crowd moving. During the crowd's swaying, bopping and groping - mostly from the male behind me-, Mon noticed the Juggers boys hanging out on the balcony. And yes that included VINCENT!

Story to be continued...

What are you looking at?

My photo
I am more than prone to monologues; however, this is solely due to the manner in which they compliment a witty anecdote and their ability to resemble concrete evidence when it is so obviously lacking. I often wish I could emulate that aloof character who coolly stands in the corner smiling mysteriously as if she has a secret. However, I fear resisting the temptation to involve myself in other people’s conflicts and responding through body language rather than verbose banter may come across as contrived and arrogant. And, I am not willing to take that chance.

Ye Faithful