Tuesday, 3 March 2009

Soak It Up- Love(less) woes

I feel like a sponge. I am a sponge. I've been absorbing so much; listening, consoling and then trying to take it all on board. Once I've hopped on board, shown the inspector my ticket I then look out the window, and review everything I've learned on the trip. Hopping off here and there to learn more, digest and then continue on my way.

I seem to be the go-to-girl, for well, relationship woes. This may be because I am a good listener or because I manage to pry open the pursed lips of others, while instilling the idea that, they themselves, had been yearning to tell me the whole time.

(My oh-so-wise younger sibling made a good point and it went something along the lines of: "Why are people in relationships seeking advice from someone who is not". My reply: "That's a good point. But no one asked for your opinion, so shut it".)

I recently received a message from a good friend who lives overseas - story of my life- his words seemed confused and unsure of themselves. These words I was bamboozled with ranged from blasphemy to helplessness. After countless attempts at the Skype ordeal I rang him.

I rang him and I asked him what was wrong. I assumed he'd cheated on his girlfriend, but didn't tell him this till I was proven wrong.

Travelling means a lot of things. And it involves even more. It means you meet people you may never have had the opportunity to meet, if you had stayed within your borders, it also means the possibility of losing those same people. But sometimes you decide to take that ‘leap of faith’, the one, that results in the unknown. And once you leap, once you let go, you can no longer predict where you will land. A concept which is simultaneously soo amazing and soo scary.

Such leaps of faith usually occur after much agonising. Is this the right decision? Should I follow my instincts?

He decided to take that leap. He doesn't know the language, the country or anyone there. Except for her. Which was/is more than enough. So he sold everything he owned, including his beloved car and after deciding that his leap was no match for the distance he was about to travel, he hopped on a plane.

As soon as he got there, he began teaching himself the language; fortunate enough to have her there behind him. They found a place, moved in, and he started to search for a job. Finally after being separated by borders they were in the same country, the same city, the same apartment; they were 'closer' than they'd ever been.

A couple of days later, she emerged from the bedroom and told him that she was no longer in love with him.

I hope for his sake that her suspicions are correct, and these few words are nothing more than a reaction to the dramatic change in their relationship. After you become so used to swimming in a pool, diving into an endless sea of water must be nothing less than daunting. There's the constant involuntary consumption of salt-water, the fear of sharks, and then the xenophobia would kick it. The fear of not knowing what will happen.

You may think that your only salvation is to swim back to shore; where it is safe and predictable, and as much as they'd like to.. (un)fortunately no one can tell you otherwise. But you should know that there is someone looking out for you. Someone who is willing to do whatever it takes to keep you in those salty-waters of endless possibility.


1 comment:

  1. fizzle you are great with advice. seriously. prepare to call me if skype doesnt work.


What are you looking at?

My photo
I am more than prone to monologues; however, this is solely due to the manner in which they compliment a witty anecdote and their ability to resemble concrete evidence when it is so obviously lacking. I often wish I could emulate that aloof character who coolly stands in the corner smiling mysteriously as if she has a secret. However, I fear resisting the temptation to involve myself in other people’s conflicts and responding through body language rather than verbose banter may come across as contrived and arrogant. And, I am not willing to take that chance.

Ye Faithful