Soak It Up- Love(less) woes

I feel like a sponge. I am a sponge. I've been absorbing so much; listening, consoling and then trying to take it all on board. Once I've hopped on board, shown the inspector my ticket I then look out the window, and review everything I've learned on the trip. Hopping off here and there to learn more, digest and then continue on my way.

I seem to be the go-to-girl, for well, relationship woes. This may be because I am a good listener or because I manage to pry open the pursed lips of others, while instilling the idea that, they themselves, had been yearning to tell me the whole time.

(My oh-so-wise younger sibling made a good point and it went something along the lines of: "Why are people in relationships seeking advice from someone who is not". My reply: "That's a good point. But no one asked for your opinion, so shut it".)

I recently received a message from a good friend who lives overseas - story of my life- his words seemed confused and unsure of themselves. These words I was bamboozled with ranged from blasphemy to helplessness. After countless attempts at the Skype ordeal I rang him.

I rang him and I asked him what was wrong. I assumed he'd cheated on his girlfriend, but didn't tell him this till I was proven wrong.

Travelling means a lot of things. And it involves even more. It means you meet people you may never have had the opportunity to meet, if you had stayed within your borders, it also means the possibility of losing those same people. But sometimes you decide to take that ‘leap of faith’, the one, that results in the unknown. And once you leap, once you let go, you can no longer predict where you will land. A concept which is simultaneously soo amazing and soo scary.

Such leaps of faith usually occur after much agonising. Is this the right decision? Should I follow my instincts?

He decided to take that leap. He doesn't know the language, the country or anyone there. Except for her. Which was/is more than enough. So he sold everything he owned, including his beloved car and after deciding that his leap was no match for the distance he was about to travel, he hopped on a plane.

As soon as he got there, he began teaching himself the language; fortunate enough to have her there behind him. They found a place, moved in, and he started to search for a job. Finally after being separated by borders they were in the same country, the same city, the same apartment; they were 'closer' than they'd ever been.

A couple of days later, she emerged from the bedroom and told him that she was no longer in love with him.

I hope for his sake that her suspicions are correct, and these few words are nothing more than a reaction to the dramatic change in their relationship. After you become so used to swimming in a pool, diving into an endless sea of water must be nothing less than daunting. There's the constant involuntary consumption of salt-water, the fear of sharks, and then the xenophobia would kick it. The fear of not knowing what will happen.

You may think that your only salvation is to swim back to shore; where it is safe and predictable, and as much as they'd like to.. (un)fortunately no one can tell you otherwise. But you should know that there is someone looking out for you. Someone who is willing to do whatever it takes to keep you in those salty-waters of endless possibility.

X

Ldn Face Hunter: 'Brick Lane Masses We Like Grime'

This dude was photographed by the Face Hunter, on London's Brick Lane. Face Hunter usually stops you if your outfit impresses him, but I guess for this guy it was the ensemble.

Wow, if someone can shed some light on what's going on down below. Please enlighten me. After closer inspection I believe the bike peddles have been replaced with skate-like-boards?

Upon learning the name of the above-mentioned I will google to my heart's content.

Any thoughts?

Photographer Mario Testino

German VOGUE June 08

Monster Children present Cobrasnake & Todd Selby

Monster Children Gallery Presents "Predator' and 'Home Alone'.

A double feature of photographs by The Cobrasnake and The Selby.

DATE: MAR 6

TIME: 6PM
@: Sydney's Monster Children Gallery.

More info at Monster Children site

Ely Kim

Ely Kim: " I am a graduate student at Yale studying graphic design. I LOVE to dance and I enjoy clouds, mangoes, smiling, and puppies".


BOOMBOX from Ely Kim on Vimeo.

The Playlist is effing R.A.D.


Check out his site:

We Like Him

It's about him and the fan club he created for himself. Fucking hilarious. Click on 'Lovely Fanclub' then the puppy to view his first issue...

French Rail Network - Réseau Ferré de France

Commercial for French rail company RFF from Leah Chun on Vimeo.

Love it.

Leah Chun is a Los Angeles based illustrator/animator who loves to read comics.

SWIFTY - NICE PRODUCE - NO VACANCY

DATE: MAR 5
TIME: 6PM
@: NO VACANCY

UK artist SWIFTY TYPOGRAFIX

Check out more info at the Nice Produce Blog

Go Font Yourself - Ben Frost!!

DATE: MARCH - 4 WED

TIME: 6:30PM

@: DON'T COME GALLERY

Sydney-sider Ben Frost, will be showcasing his work, alongside many other talented artists.

Yay for Ben Frost.

Google L(aTtitude) and Bed(me)post

Those social networks and those 'not so'..

Continuing with the topic of social networking applications, I recently stumbled across Google Latitude. It's very similar to the application Twitter, a site that is purely dedicated to status updates; very similar to the feature found on Facebook; but Latitude takes it that step further.

Google Latitude is more like a tracking device, a device that tells other subscribers your exact location and even provides images/maps, at your discretion. However, Google do promise that the user has complete control over how much information is released. Hell, you can even say your somewhere you're not.

Check our this great site Another Advertising Wanker and its write-up on the application:

'Social. To be, or not to be?'

Really does just show how society's voyeuristic needs are only increasing and that there are those who are only happy to keep the "beast's" hunger at bay. You know what they say: 'Supply those who demand'.

A further note for those whose 'little black book' is weighing them down. A program called 'Bedpost', which is anything but a 'social' site, allows you to keep track of those you 'bed', where you bed them, and an overall rating. Pretty neat, huh?

Jesus 'they' will stop at nothing.

Curious? Bedpost

For statistics sake, it would be rather interesting. However, rather than play the waiting game, if there are any nymphomaniacs out there who would like to volunteer and attack any lasting shreds of dignity, let me know.

It's even compatible with iPhone! YAY.

Facist Book

Facebook has become a form of communication. It can be likened to other communicative verbs such as 'to text', 'to phone', and 'to write'. So these days a simple 'facebook me' is more than suffice.

Since its launch in Feb 04 it's slowly become the word on everyone's lips, it's integrated into their lexicon, and it ain't even in the dictionary, yet. Sooner or later when that time comes for the Oxford English Dictionary to update, to scrawl through our linguistics, and submit their final list, founder Mark Zuckerberg will be the proud father of his 'spawn'. Go figure.

[The general rule of thumb for the Oxford English Dictionary is that any word can be included which appears five times, in five different printed sources, over a period of five years.]

The world (currently 150 million users) is going crazy for this social networking site; a spin-off of a Harvard University program called 'Facemash'. Thousands of photos are being uploaded hourly; 'friends' are clicking through your photo albums and reading your wall posts. Others are obsessively trawling through 'friend lists' trying to 'up' their own.

A general belief is that, although your personal life is living on the World Wide Web, only you know the password and therefore only you are in control of your privacy. Wrong. As much as we'd all like to believe this idealistic mantra, it's so far from the true. The words 'private' and 'Facebook' are like chalk and cheese, an oxymoran if I've ever heard one. Once you've uploaded it, it's for the world to see.

And now things have gotten even more complicated.

I'm going to take a stab in the dark and presume that a small percentage, of the 150 million Facebook users, have never read its 'Terms of Service'. I'm going to take a step back and assume just as many, or more, don't even know what a 'Terms of Service' or 'TOS' is.

Facebook's Terms of Service (TOS) used to say that when you closed an account on their network, any rights they claimed to the original content you uploaded would expire. Not that long ago, this sentance was added:

"You may remove your User Content from the Site at any time. If you choose to remove your User Content, the license granted above will automatically expire, however you acknowledge that the Company may retain archived copies of your User Content."

As you can imagine there was a lot of protest against this, and in response Zuckerberg and co. reverted back to the original clause; that is until a solution can be found..

Joaquin Phoenix Quits & Turns to Rapping.

I don't know whether to laugh or cry. Unfortunalty the Joaquin Phoenix team have taken Phoenix's recent David Letterman interview off the web. It is now, no longer available for viewing. This is indeed a shame, because I would have liked to hear your sentiments on the issue.

On 11 Feb 09 Phoenix was a guest on the Dave Letterman Show. Unfortunately his mind couldn't make it, so his body took one for the team. He was supossed to be on the show promoting his new movie 'Two Lovers', but it seems even grutting was too much effort.

'Two Lovers' director James Gray, who also directed the 34-year-old star in The Yards and We Own The Night, is concerned that he played a role in Phoenix's recent behaviour saying that Phoenix's character experiments with rap in the movie, which is loosely based on Gray's own life experience.

James Gray:

"I found out he's built a recording studio in his house and he's working with Diddy. I tried to talk him out of it. He got very angry."

He's working with Diddy? P. Diddy? The artist formerly known as Puff Daddy? WTF.

After Phoenix announced his career change decision, on David Letterman, he was mocked by the host and studio audience.

Joaquin said: "I have been working on my music. I am doing hip-hop music.

"This isn't a joke. Why are they laughing?"

As the laughter grew louder, an upset-looking Joaquin insisted: "I am serious about this. What is it with this maniacal laughter in here? I don't get it. Is this supposed to be fun?"

While many believe the actor is mentally unstable others wonder whether the whole thing is a charade, a hoax set up by Phoenix himself.

Here is his brief interview with E! Entertainment Channel. Casey Affleck seems to be as confused as the rest of us.



Here is Joaquin's debut as a rapper.. in which he takes a rather sudden trip.. You know what they say about first impressions...

The Simpsons - New Main Title

This made it's way to cyber-space around 14 Jan 09. It has spread like wild-fire. According to Viral Video Chart the clip has had 1,617,719 views and been posted on 765 blogs.

Nice. So I guess that makes me 766?

T - Mobile Advert - 'Life's For Sharing'

This was once my station.

Suprisingly enough I was never witness of such an act.

15 Jan 09: no ordinary day at Liverpool Street Station, London.

Kerrry Skarbakka - The Shower

Bad day?

'The Shower' by philosophical photographer Kerrry Skarbakka.

Flight of the Conchords - Ladies of the World

Flight of the Conchords- Ladies of the World directed by Nima Nourizadeh.

Adidas House Party - 60 Years of Sole

Everybody loves a house party right? Especially when all the right people are in attendance?

Especially when there's graffiti, finger painting, pixie dust, gambling, fireworks, Russel Simmons, Missy Elliot, Katy Perry, David Beckham, Mark Gonzales, The Ting Tings, Estelle, Method Man and even, former Russian tennis champion, Ilie Nastase. Well 2009 marks the 60th anniversary of Adidas & in order to celebrate they're throwing a party. Although this shindig is 'invite only' you're more than welcome to join in the year long celebration with new products galore.

Director Nima Nourizadeh was in charge of the latest commercial for Adidas, a minute-long film shot at a house party where everyone’s dressed in, you guessed it, Adidas. Granted it is a lot of fun, heck I watched it two times over, but one can not surpass the fact that it is a rather self-indulgent, ego- fuelled, hipster-esque way to celebrate 'originality'. For God's sake, everyone is wearing Adidas!! Does that not scream uniformity let alone, conformity?

Admittedly, I do really like this clip and it does exactly what Nourizadeh and Adidas intended. It gets you excited. However, credit should also be given to 60's band 'Frankie Valli & The Four Seasons' for creating the banging tune that is; 'Beggin'. **Download enthusiasts note that the version in the video is the Pilooski re-edit.

So put on your party shoes and celebrate with Adidas' multi million-pound campaign known as “60 Years of Soles and Stripes”.

Modular - Bang Gang Deejays - Free - LAS VEGAS

God, I love to know everything that is going on. And quite frankly, being the barer of all the right things, makes me feel good in all the right places.. Being 'in-the-know' brings me a copious amount of pleasure, but sometimes it brings me pain. I swear if Journalism wasn't my calling, I'd totally be in PR or Event Management. My diary can be likened to that of the Sydney city grid map; fluid lines running into one another, arrows here, dates there.

So here it is..

Live in Nevada or simply happen to be stopping by on your big fancy jet?

Take me with you!

Tuesday Feb 17
Modular, Filter and MFG Presents The Pool Tradeshow Opening Party
w/ Hercules and Love Affair (DJ Set), The Bang Gang Deejays & Treasure Fingers
Beauty Bar , Las Vegas, NV
Free w/ RSVP at http://www.danceright.net/pooltradeshow/

And it's FREIKO!

"Eat or Be Eaten"

Recently nothing has ever resounded so deep within me, like this has. It pryed open my pursed lips, slid down my tongue and bounced off my tonsils. It waved goodbye to my oral cavity as it left my pharynx and prepared to enter my oesophagus. Approximately 25-30 cm later, it had reach it's destination. My stomach.

And you know what? It sat quite well.

The above is the kind of sentance, that when finished stares blankly at you, while the cursor impatiently blinks; surprised by the honesty yet hesitant to hear more.

What does it mean when you're willing to climb over people? Does it reek of desperation? Or are you just proving Charles Darwin's 'Survival of the fittest', a synonym for his 1895 theory of 'natural selection'? The truth is that, 'survival of the fittest' was actually a metaphor, unlike it's scientific descriptive counterpart, 'natural selection'.

Natural selection means any organism which is capable of reproducing itself on an ongoing basis will survive as a species, not just the "fittest" ones.

Sorry Charlie but today I think we'll chose the former.

Eat or be eaten is the 21st century's equivalent to Darwin's metaphor 'survival of the fittest'

So today's equation class is:

EOBE = SOTF

And unfortunatly it comes with a lot of baggage and when we break it down we find the big one: loyalty.

Loyalty: (noun) that comes with connotations of amicability, happiness, faithfullness, fidelity..

Everybody wants to reach their potential, which is an ambiguous term within itself, and in order to see what an individual can do you've got to reach further, walk faster, or fucking run. Whatever will get you to the finish line before anyone else.

The last thing you want to do is rest on your laurels, and because we are all ruled by that ethereal concept know as 'emotion' it's always harder in practice. But it ain't so difficult to become disheartened, especially, right now during this crunchy credit time.

I recently came across a facebook status that read as follows: X is getting used to taking rejection well. It made me sad, but it also made me angry.. and ironically enough i'm sure after writing it they did not realise the gravity of their words. A result of their flittering fingers being woed by that sturdy and ever reliable keyboard.

Why would you ever get used to rejection? It doesn't feel good and it's definitely not like forcing yourself to eat 'greens' because in the end you know your doing youself a service. It's like drinking metholated spirits and 'hoping for the best'. But I guess if you're crazy enough to drink metho then your concept of what's 'best' would be rather distorted.

The only thing you should do with rejection, is use it as a stepping stone, stand on it and you'll only be able to reach higher than before.

Moral of the story: Eat that last piece of cake, before it eats you.

Heat Wave

Yesterday, thousands of people fled to Chadstone shopping centre.

60,000 to be exact.

Unfortunately it wasn't to score a bargain but to escape the hottest day on record, 46.4C at 3pm. It trumped the previous benchmark of 45.6C recorded on Black Friday, 13 Jan 1939.

It was Black Saturday and as the automatic doors of the shopping centre tiresomely welcomed patrons the hot wind stuck like glue. The usually arctic temperature of the cooling system was no match for what Black Saturday had in store for Victoria.

This morning's headline read; "At least 14 dead in horror flames" and tonight the number has escalated to 65. The raging inferno, that is officially Victoria's worst ever bushfires, has swept through Victoria's bushland circling Melbourne. Rural properties in Bunyip and Maiden Gully and those suburban ones in Fentree Gully and Narre Warren perish.

Prime Minister Kevin Rudd has announced a $10 million emergency relief fund for the victims of Victoria's bushfires.

Black Saturday occured 9 days before the tragic Ash Wednesday fires, a natural disaster that happened in South eastern Australia on 16 Feb 1983 . 65 people are dead and 640 homes have been lost. Sadly these numbers will only increase.

Up North, Queensland is experiencing flash floods and king tides. Go figure.

Hats off to Brian & his Buns

When you're too cocky too care.. pun intended.

The last one is genius..- and I use that term very loosely-. It's like laughing in the face of adversity. When all else has failed Brian knows that he'll always have 'hefty lefty' or 'tighty righty' to keep him company on those lonesome nights.

No Vacancy- Suit up - Exhibition Launch

No Vacancy Gallery

Suit Up

Fri Feb 13. Think about it.

Head to WeMakeGoodStuff for more details.

Pearl Necklace .. pending.

This is a 1954 advertisement for Tangee lipcolour.

A tad bit phallic perhaps?

I imagine the individual(s) who approved this piece were much less accustomed to this 'position' than their female co-workers. Or lack there of.

In the 1950s only 33 per cent of women were in the paid work force, compared to a staggering 94 per cent of men. Is that why this poor excuse for an ad was allowed to breathe?

You could argue that more than 50 years later there are many ads that would reflect a similar sort of deal. Purely because sex sells. The Lynx deodorant company is one of the biggest advocates of this mantra. Adult content pending.



Now in the noughties, the ratio of men to woman has managed to reach an almost balanced figure, however; it seems whether you have one or not, thinking with the 'crown jewels' is something that all advertising agents strive to achieve.

Just ask Paris Hilton:

Different Strokes

Experience heart palpitations and withdrawal symptoms when The Strokes are mentioned?

Well you definitely don't need to be sitting down for this news, but at least it's a start.

Introducing Little Joy, the second side project from The Strokes' Fabrizio Moretti and friends.

After the Jump --> Little Joy

Little Joy was released worldwide by Rough Trade Records, a division of The Beggar’s Group, on & around Nov. 4th, 2008.

A Linguistic Jigsaw

When words are more than just respective groups of congregated letters, their effect is incandescent.. But not just any words, certain words, and when these pieces of lingo find one another and create the harmonious civil ceremony known as a sentence or phrase, I swear I see tiny sparks fly...

One phrase that has recently been lingering in my cerebral membrane is:

'Fleshy Gratification'

Who doesn't love a l'il bit of fleshy gratification, where it counts?

What's even more exciting than this glorious concept, is how time can completely influence the way you perceive the unification of our linguistic counterparts.

The first time I laid eyes on this 'textual duo' was February 2008, in London. I was reading the editors note in the well informed Timeout guide. A sort of bi-monthly bible, a 'what's on in your city' kind of deal. No sooner had my beady pupils scanned the line than had I whipped out a biro and underlined the beauties. I managed to interweave it into a couple of everyday conversations, once during a vis-à-vis and the other in a witty texto. Unfortunately, neither form of communication seemed worthy enough. Truthfully, I saw bigger and better things for my 'fleshy gratification' and maybe this is it?

I could get all Carrie Bradshaw on your ass and delve into the difference between relationships and a little bit of the ol' 'fleshy gratification'. Where a wo(man) is content with the sexual intimacy of another and not really bothered about the rest. Is that sleazy? No, not if the feeling is mutual and you're both benefiting. Emphasis on the mutual satisfaction bit.

Watching 'Reality Bites' recently, one of the many surly characters was of the opinion that 'sex ruins friendships'. The only reason this quote stood out to me was because no more than two weeks ago, two friends, on separate occasions, told me the exact opposite. Apparently, you have nothing to hide, once you've bared it all. Sounds pretty logical.

Just some local sex in your city to chew on.

Then you can reach for the other extreme - the extreme that takes' fleshy gratification' to a whole other level. But you'd have to ask pomie comedian/nymphomanic Russel Brand.
His are the words, on the pages, that are under the command of my flittering finger-tips. And I got to say, these words I talk of, they ain't so bad.

So check out: Russell Brand's 'My Booky Wook' ...

Disclaimer: This isn't the end of the 'Fleshy Gratification' saga.

Checkers

Fallon is replacing Conan who is replacing Leno.



No one has funnier hair than Conan & no one can pull off a protruding chin like Jay.

Jimmy Fallon - where comedy goes to die.

Amigos

There is a reason why one person can always have more than one good friend.

Remember when you were younger and you would rate each friend, I guess in priority/importance order, well I don't mean like that at all -although it is easy to draw similarities between that and the Facebook or Myspace top friends feature-. Then while you were at High School you would cross paths with one or two, or even three very good friends, each at respective times throughout your adolescence; and at that time one was more than enough. It is not until your last school years, when you really realise who your 'person' is.

Then you enter the real world, a world that lacks timetables and structure and all of sudden all those people who you saw everyday for the past six years or so, no longer make an appearance, not even a cameo. Okay some make cameos, but you're usually hiding behind the wall/tree/car/any large object in order to avoid them. And you realise the amazing concept of choosing who you want to see and when.

Weren't a big fan of that fair-haired lass who occupied the locker above you ? Me neither. Mine was incapable of grasping that stainless steel lock between her wispy little fingers. Many a times would she fail to warn me before the solid object would land smack bang on the cranium.

Alcohol doesn't kill brain-cells, infantile fellow students do.

Once at university, or whatever insitution you decide to sign-up to, you meet people who don't live within a 5 mile radius of you, and that seems far and foreign. Then you travel and meet people who have never even been to Australia and your concept of foreign or far is challenged.

Eventually you become accustomed to your surroundings and manage to pick out a few special ones; the ones that inspire you.

And when you turn to one of your good friends for a shoulder, and they give you two, you are ever so thankful that they chose you.

Joanna this is particularly dedicated to you.

" Think of people like me who know you're definately not like that (hello we shared a bed together for 4 weeks and you didn't even pull a move!) hahaha "

Thank you for your lovely letter.

Je t'aime toujours.

Bangalang X

Dance Monkey (Intern), Dance.

So being a journalism graduate, who is more than aware of the hoops a determined one has to jump, somersault and backflip through to get where they wanna get, it was rather amusing/scaring to read ex-Editor of Girlfriend magazine, Mia Freedman's response to an article about her and a banana?

After reading the article this is her reponse; via her blog Mamamia.

"...One of these rumours – are you sitting down? – was that “Mia Freedman once sent a work experience person out to buy her son a banana.” A banana. A BANANA.

Here’s a brief snapshot of what went through my head after reading that sentence.

1. Did I do that? Possibly. But more likely banana was for self. Son not partial to bananas.
2. Even if true about son, banana is fruit. Good Mother Points in that.
3. At least no mention of the time I sent Art Director to buy my son McDonalds. That definitely happened. Look, she was going there anyway.
4. Why is shocking banana allegation not on page 1 where it belongs? 2020 Summit? Pah!

As my friends and family woke up and opened their own newspapers, my phone began to beep. “At least it wasn’t a Mars Bar!” texted my mum. “Selfish cow,” texted an editor friend. “Why didn’t you let work experience girl choose the cover and then take her out to dinner?”

I started my own career doing work experience when I was 19 and my first boss was the wonderful Lisa Wilkinson.
Back then (in my day etc), I was grateful for the chance to get her coffee or her mail. I would have gladly washed Lisa’s car – or her feet – had I been asked. Heck, I would have blow-dried her dog (I do know an editor who was asked to do this when she herself did work experience at a magazine). During this time, I believe I was also regularly sent to fetch assorted muffins and sandwiches for staff. And one time? A peach. I know. But it’s true.

...Over the years, I began to notice a change in attitude from some (not all) of the work experience students. Gratitude was being replaced with a sense of entitlement and absurd expectations.

I’m guessing that Banana Girl was one of those; a sixteen year old who rocked up for her week expecting to interview Jessica Alba and attend fashion shows. That’s the kind of experience she was after, thanks. And she wasn’t the only one.

...It got to the point where, before they came, we had to inform them in writing that “you will be required to do administrative tasks and whatever else is required”.

Some decided this wasn’t, like, acceptable and never showed up. Others showed up and then sulked. Or disappeared mid-week.

Of course, many work experience students are wonderful young women (and occasionally, young men, bless their brave souls). A 26 year old features editor puts it like this: “It would be 50/50 split: the little creatures who slump and sigh at being asked to get the mail, and those who have already gone down and got it before you can ask. Guess who gets the internships...”
Back in my day there were no internships. They should be grateful…. "

My response: Yes and no.

Guerrilla Wars

Need to get ahead in a time of turmoil and cat fights while clawing your way up that mountain of recession?

So maybe just follow Adrants Ad blog lead and post a fake ad. Free PR with the slight almost definate possibility of a slap on the ass, with a law-suit.


But then it worked for that artist resposible for the guerrilla American Apparel ads:

http://animalnewyork.com/

[Rather disillusioned by the AA ad; is there any sense behind the graphic images? Other than the whole raw and rebellious slant that AA seem to be going for]

Sometimes Even Pinching Yourself Isn't Enough

So reading the news today, and when I say 'news', I refer to that online porthole known as 'Ninemsn', and therefore use the term very loosely. I came across a 'news' article which was reminiscent of a scene out of Will Ferrell movie.

[ Re: The ambiguity of the term news: A good analogy would be likening Ninemsn to soft-porn, while ABC World would be the hard-core porn. They're both porn, one of them is a little more 'detailed' than the other... ]

So the item in question concerned a 61 year old woman in Denmark, who had handed a bank-tellar two Swedish Monopoly bills worth 2000 Kroner and in return was given 1400 Danish Krone [A$375]. She gave him toy money and he gave her real money! Can this really happen if Will Ferral isn't writing the script?

Apparently she got a l'il bit cocky and tried it a second time, however, she weren't so lucky and end up behind them iron bars.

The Bank Manager told Swedish newspaper the Local: 'As long as humans are involved, mistakes will happen'. Yes, he may have told the Swede journo that but what we really want to know is what he told the tellar and where he told him to go. Cause I'm guessing he won't be passing GO to collect his 200 Kroner (or whatever the currency conversion is).

Matt & Kim - Yea Yea

I've got one word for you.

Awefuck.

Need Some Motivation To Get Your Ass' Into Work Every Morning?

‘Every day I get up and look through the Forbes list of the richest people in America. If I’m not there, I go to work.’ - Robert Orben*

Thanks Rob.

*Rob Orben (March 4 1927) is an American magician and professional comedy writer. He wrote a heap of books containing jokes and humour that magicians would put into practice while performing their tricks. In the 1970s he moved into Politics, and that part he didn't even have to make up. Funny hey?

Philip Defranco

This guy is the person I aspire to be.

For lack of a better word he's a 'motor-mouth'.

You know that moment when you're seconds away from losing the spotlight and you're almost at the end of the string of words, but got nothing left to give. When you're grasping onto that tether for dear life, as it slowly unravels revealing six more tiny stringets; which ain't gonna hold a baby finger let alone your fat ass.

Well, so you never have to be in that stringy predicament again, here's Philip Defranco.

I don't know if he presses fast-play or he's just spent way too much time training his lips to reverberate like the wind, whilst skillfully avoiding any expectoration; and frankly I don't care.

Give it up for Phil. D

http://uk.youtube.com/user/sxephil



'Oh Internet, how you never fail to amuse me'



'If something is called Cadbury Milk and you are suprised that thye put things like, milk in it, then I am amazed that you remember to breathe'

Kirsten Lepore - Animation Amazon

Definately check out the first video on her website, it's a compilation of all her work and it's backing track is by Hot Chip.

From a green pepper in labour to a cupcake shaving off it's cream top whilst being cheered on by it's peers, it is the holy grail of fantasy lands.

I swear my mouth was opened the whole time.

http://www.kirstenlepore.com


Guess Who?

"I shot all the main movement with a camera stop-motion style, and then photoshopped out the mouths/eyes and re-animated them in flash."

Guess Who from Kirsten Lepore on Vimeo.



Heinz' Poppers web ad from Kirsten Lepore on Vimeo.

Heinz Popper's Web Ad

"most of the lip and eye movements were shot stopmotion-style with the rest of the animation...If you're interested in that type of animation, basically all you need is a light table, paper, and a camera! "

Justice do Springfield

After much blogger research I have concluded that this still is no more than a fake!

How unfortunate, considering my fingers went haywire after seeing the Justice duo donning this image as their Myspace profile pic. Scrawling through Simpson episode archives proved a fruitless expedition. With a little bit of Photoshop magic Justice planted the seed. Now all it needs is a little lovin'.

And after that, all we can do is hope that the Simpsons' people get hold of this and love all over it and in turn contact Gaspard and Xavier for a l'il cameo!

We can only hope.

INDIE DAYZE- 90.7 SYN FM - MON 9PM

Playlist (12/01/09)

1. Digitalism- Pogo
2. Metronomy- This could be beautiful (It is)
3. Metronomy- A Thing for me (sinden rmx)
4. Foals - Red Sock Pugie
5. Paris – Friendly Fires –Aeroplane rmx (vocals Au Revoir Simone)
6. Animal Collective- Summertime Clothes
7. King’s of Leon – Knocked up (Lykke Li cover)
8. Lykke Li- I'm Good, I'm Gone
9. Bon Iver- Lump Sum
10. Flight of the conchords- Business Time

Kanye Blows A Load

Apparently Kanye thinks this chick is babe/'vixen'..

Summer Walker - Can you say ammature?

click picture for further Kanye/Summer action.



Caution: May induce vomiting

He puts it all in - and shakes it all about

Kanye West is a modern day Shakes-peare

Flight Of the Conchords

"Just because you've been exploring my mouth doesn't mean you get to take, an expedition down south"



Funniest men alive.

All the Colours of the Rainbow

Family- collective noun. A group of persons sharing common ancestry.



After all the social parametres built around this concept, I honestly thought that the dictionary definition would hold a little more heart. Not that I am complaining, considering it works perfectly with my perception of the word.

My family consists of six people.

In reality, I have soo much family I haven't even had the pleasure(?) of meeting them, but to me that's not really 'family'. A cousin of mine recently had a wedding which, after a very tried and tested time, bought my 'family' together with the 'family' my mother once knew. This could have gone either of two ways, but considering we were only invited a week before the actual event while everyone else, most of whom were not even blood-related, were invited over 3 months ago I was a little bit skeptical.

To cut a long story short, I could not wait for that wedding to end. Unfortunately as it was an Indian wedding, the festivities went on for a very very long time -I'm talking days-. However, I only attended the wedding and that was more than enough.

My point is that family comes in all sorts of shapes and sizes, but the main thing that it offers is support. No one can claim the benefits of a family member if they don't put in the hard yards. I am a strong advocate of the family unit and will give credit, only where credit is due. So there are about 8 cousins who live approximately half an hour from me, and yet they couldn't feel further away...

Nevertheless, the above, which was taken by a cousin -like I said I give credit where credit's due- is a beautiful photo:

The pretty one in the sun-burnt orange is my mum. And she should know that one of me is worth so much more than any of those people have (or are willing) to give.

Maybe all the pretty colours are to distract you from what's really happening.

Your eyes are just so crazy in love (calling Beyonce) with the loud visual aesthetics that your ears can't hear what's really going on. And then like a rainbow you find out that it doesn't hold any truth to it. It was all just a story made up to agree with how things are supposed to be.

Just a thought.

Disclaimer: It's tagged under Paris Hilton cause it's all as fake as she is.

Brittanie Pendleton

This is the work of 20 year old Texan based photographer Brittanie Pendleton

Lykke Li

Prnounced Lukka Lee

She's kinda like a swedish Mary-Kate Olsen but with more meat on her.

Radio Show - Indie Dayze 90.7

Yo, so I've resusciated the pre-exisiting '06 INDIE DAYZE and it's playing on SYN FM 90.7 every Monday night at 9PM- 10 PM.

Catch it on Melbourne airwaves or type in syn.org.au and stream it baby.

Tune in for dates, rates, vents & views.

Tonight's Playlist:

1. Digitalism- Pogo
2. Holy Fuck- Lovely Allen
3. Whitest Boy Alive- Done with you
4. Hercules and Love Affair- Blind
5. Yo Majesy- Club Action
6. Santogold- You’ll find a way (switch and sinden rmx)
7. Avenue D- 2d2f
8. Lykke Li-Complaint Dept
9. The Postal Service- Sleeping In
10. Boy + Girl- Talking in french
11. Holy Ghost- Hold on

See you tonight!

Can you say Doppleganger?

Zooey Deschanel & Kate Perry

Well can you?

Isn't it Ironic?

In “Reality Bites,” Winona Ryder, applying for a newspaper job, is stumped when asked to “define irony.” It’s a good question. Ryder replies, “Well, I can’t really define irony … but I know it when I see it.” Really?

IRONY

Everytime I come across this word, this scene comes to mind. A scene that portrays so much more than a perplexed Winona, but a situation in which she is faced with the ultimate opportunity; where she comes to a fork in the road and by not knowing the answer she is told to go 'straight to jail, do not pass go and do not collect your $200'!

Funnily enough I see a lot of similarities between myself and Ryder's character Lelaina Pierce and consciously make this scene a lesson learned. Learn the definition of 'irony' and you'll never be faced with such a situation...

Lelaina: Can you define “irony”?
Troy Dyer: It’s when the actual meaning is the complete opposite from the literal meaning.

But then what about all the other words? What if I'm nervously waiting in the Herald Sun HQ and solitary voice of reason Andrew Bolt walks past me and ask me the definition of candour or rapacious?!

Then I guess I'd excuse myself and look it up on my iPhone.

Note to self- Get an iPhone.

C'est la vie

Geez life is ... a minefield.

Sometimes you'll be walking around minding your own beezwax when BAM your foot will get blown off by a mine and other times you'll be walking around and no mines will be goin' off. And you'll be all like 'what the? I thought this was supossed to be a minefield? Where are all the mines? I wish I'd step on one right now', just for a few moments of entertainment... and then I guess horror would be the next to follow.

Take from this analogy what you will.

And then sometimes life is ... a flower-pot and you're the seedling.

You know what you have to do.. (well eventually you have a faint idea of what you should do, that is after all the ideas in your head stop walking into walls and well quite frankly each other) ... but all you can do is wait, wait for the sun for the rain and the 'will'. That fucking 'will'. And you 'will' sooo hard, thinking eventually if I 'will' enough I will get what I deserve. I will get my comupins (but in a positive sense).. but alas sometimes 'will' isn't enough.

(And sometimes overwilling could result in a trip to the doctor and who wants to open that can of worms?)

The major player here that I have failed to mention is time. Seriously, it's the one thing that an impatient person can't control. Damn that time factor.

So what does that mean, you have to play the waiting-game and see what happens? Well, that sucks. Cause while you're waiting other people have fun assuming things that are totally incorrect.

Today my mum told me I had a middle-class mind. Totally mis-judging that as a compliment, I asked what this so called middle-class mind entailed. She said my head was in the clouds and I thought things were just going to fall into my lap.

Sometimes I think her head is the clouds.

Sometimes, it's always nicer to secretly wish your head was in the clouds, kinda like Paris Hilton and Jessica Simpson, only their heads aren't really in the clouds, it's a complete and utter ploy. That Hilton sex video was soo calculated. She knew exaclty what she was doing.

Why do you think she kept looking directly at the camera and winking? Huh?

Anyway, back to the point. Ignorance is bliss and I am more than ready for my fair share.

Where the Bloody Hell Are ya?

God stunts like this make it sooo hard to be patriotic.

So Nick and Hugh are doin' the rounds. Promoting like they've.... promoted so many times before. To the right is Hugh chaneling well what looks like his Boy from Oz days. Why? I'm not really sure. It's not like we don't already doubt his heterosexuality.

Then to the left of him is our good 'ol Nicky, doing what us Aussies do best. That's right you guessed it, upsetting the Aboriginies. Now the last thing I want to do is disrespect anyone. So I'll let Nick do the rest.

The Kid blowin her own on German show Wetten das...?

Baz obviously didn't give these kids a lesson in Aboriginal traditions cause apparently women are forbidden to play the suspect instrument and if they do, well they become infertile!

Shiz! Lucky Nick's already popped out a couple and adopted a couple more! Clever girls obviously thought ahead.

Australia tells the story of an English aristocrat, played by Kidman, who travels to Australia where she falls in love with the country, a man and a young Aboriginal boy.

And I haven't seen it, soley due to the fact that is looks well like Australia Tourism ran out of ideas and rounded up the troops for a little Aussie Aussie Aussie OI OI OI.

Pity the troops weren't educated before hand.

Booo have a cry.

Let me see if I can pencil you in.

WOENSDAG

Cyclic Defrost End of Year Party and Mag Launch

@ Horse Bazaar
397 Little Lonsdale St, Melbourne

Purposely different?


VRIJDAG



@ HEIST STORE

Andy Uprock is a c**k

So Andy Uprock, the founder of Cuprocking, the chimp that belongs to Mooks, has decided to get all deep and meaningful. You know, like from the heart and shit.

So his newest cuprocking venture is called Poetry in Braile.

Check his ludicrous speech here:

Yea like I'm a vigilante and I totally kiss Mooks' a-hole.


His official Mooks blog:

Andy Uprock


Disclaimer:

The title was just too easy. sorry.

Melbourne Gallery Hopping

WOENSDAG

DONDERDAG

VRIJDAG